Letting go.

Ok yes, this could in fact be the longest I've gone without posting since I started this blog back in April of 2008. Whopsies. Guess that's what happens when real life takes over. Real life meaning the little and big things that make up my heart and spirit as well as the to-do's that fill the hours in the day. In my ever-constant quest of true happiness and contentment, the last few months have resulted in both struggle and a very freeing letting-go in many usually controlled aspects of my life. It's pretty amazing what you are given when you open your heart to the unexpected. 

The usual's... CRC north is proving itself with every passing day...pretty neat seeing all of the pieces come together. Teaching yoga is proving more and more comfortable with each class that I teach. Some sculpt and bootcamp classes have weaved their way into the previous weeks... making for fun music, a little more intensity, and maybe an 80's wig.

Coming up... the always-anticipated hilarity and fun that is the CRC Holiday Party, friend's birthdays, Christmas present shopping, and curling up by the fire (that would be Mom & Ken's...hopefully they'll allow it).

North CRC Grand Opening!

QT.

A little quality time spent in Denver with Adam on Wednesday. Goodwill, Modern Family, the lightrail, Union Station, a Mongolian grill, flipping for drinks... lots of laughs. Just a snip-it of the many joys I've experienced during my vacation this week. Now if only to pull the Halloween costume together....

Golden.

The leaves aren't the only thing changing for me right now. Physical and emotional movement is a constant, but our awareness of all that changes seems to fluctuate.. well, for me any how. CRC north opening, teaching yoga, dealing with the aftermath of a rough week, reminding myself to trust that everything will turn out ok,

I love the cottage in the fall...

Mom-apples.

After hearing one time that Mom and Ken liked to got to the Manitou Chocolate Factory and share a caramel apple... Sarah had the idea to make Mom some homemade apples, full of decadence, for her birthday. After a trip to a very busy King Stup's, aprons were tied up and we were about to get messy. Heath bar, pecans, white chocolate pretzels... chocolate, lots o' caramel... we had it all. What came out were five, very large monstrosities of goodness... a little bit of a sugar coma for the two of us.

  Next up it was time for the delivery. We ventured up the pass, and after a few bicep curls to warm up, Sarah's arms carried the not-so-light tray to the birthday girl who was presently surprised and delighted by her treats. Ken wasn't too disappointed either.

Maddy- I hope you are reading this/seeing these photos and are super impressed. Do you like "the rods" in the backgroud?.... yes, yum is right. Can you guess what Mom started doing the minute she laid eyes on these pups... she started "cleaning up the pan"... in reality- picking off all of the little pieces hanging off the apple.  We are our mother's daughters aren't we.

Awesome day of apple making. Now, we must find a way to sell these...

Other events of the weekend... Mom's bday at The Swiss Chalet (yum!)- so great to see my brother, my first speeding ticket (awesome-thank you Manitou), I'm officially certified to teach Sculpt (so excited), oh yeah... I still suck at pool.

negatives.

I could stare at pictures all day. I look at them, and suddenly I'm placed back in that place, feeling whatever I was experiencing in that very moment. In my desire to stay in the present, pictures help me obtain a second chance if I may have missed it the first time. They remind me of the love I'm surrounded by, the space in between the events that make up my heart... the hopes, the fears, the joys, and the contentment that lies within it.

A life shift is happening, I can feel it. Or maybe my heart is shifting towards something. I don't know. I feel like I'm just waiting for something to happen to me. I exist in a battle between two desires: to run away, and to sit and not move. I've spent my lifetime searching for answers, searching for solutions. Maybe it's time I just wait.

B

Love baby Brooklyn:)




- BlogPress from my iPhone

pHOTO...

After the passing of almost one whole year, I finally did it. I printed a crap load of pictures out to frame, re-do my outdated collage cork boards, and complete my week in the life book. Yes! I can't wait to get started. More updates on these projects later:).

Speaking of photos. For some reason photography has slipped back into my life radar. A couple people have asked me to take some shots for them and I've absolutely loved it. My editing skills will be slow as I've forgotten much of the new things I learned in my Photoshop class, but I can always go back to my trusty book...that thing is awesome and does a great job stepping you through things. A sneak peak of some of the projects I'll be working on...

A list-worthy life.

New store.
Taos.
Yoga.
Running...flat.
Fixtures.
Scoobs.
New employees.
Mate'.
Printing pictures, finally.
Sad Madster is leaving.
Bradstein.

A few things defining my days lately...

Place yourself in the present.

My heart rate has finally returned to normal...I think. For an entire week, I knew I'd be teaching a full C1 yoga class on Sunday at 7:30pm.  Out of our group of four "extenders", I was the last one to go. All week I've been living in my head thinking about how I needed to be, what I just could not forget, how my music would all line up, and please lord just don't let me leave out anything super important. By 7pm last night my nerves had reached their limit, and as more and more people began to pour in, I just wanted to start and be in it. From the moment I faced the class, we all shared a deep breath, and I began to share the intention of "placing yourself in the present"... I honestly just couldn't believe this was happening; I was teaching yoga.

I absolutely was not expecting a class of 20. Tiff did an amazing job recruiting people she new to come support- about half of the class were people she new. I had my corner of peeps there to give me familiar smiles, love and encouraging vibes:). Thank you, thank you!! The music was definitely my foundation for keeping me smiling and keeping me present within the hour.  However, thanks to an inside joke between Ms. Crowe and I and my Michael Jackson song, when it came on, I laughed and suddenly forgot what side we were on in the flow. I looked up at that moment and saw one of the girls in my group with her left leg up... phew... ok, back on track.

When it was time for the final savasana, and I was loving on my people with some of my favorite music in the background, I took a deep breath full of love and gratitude.  I know I missed some things, stumbled on my words, and could have paid closer attention to student's alignment; all things I will challenge myself with in the coming weeks. What an amazing experience though. My first real class... so awesome.

[no subject].

It's 6:08am on a Sunday morning. And yes, I'm writing. As usual, not feeling like I have very much blog-worthy things going on right now. Well...maybe it's the fact that I haven't pulled out the camera very much recently so there aren't any visuals to go with the words. CPY Extensions program is wrapping up it's 4th week today...two more left! Recently, I've been all about the music- such a cool part of teaching yoga... for me at least. Weds, Sept 15th, the four of us "extenders" will be teaching a donations-based class as sort of our final hurah! It will be at 6:15p at the Garden of the Gods studio...so please come if you're in town! We've hired 8 new people at the store over the past few weeks in preparation for store #2 up in Northern Colorado Springs and some staff making a departure. Lot's of change going on at CRC these days... exciting change.

It was a very PrAna Christmas for me this week... yay, new clothes! I'm ready for some cooler temps!

Off to the Sunday run with the girls and then some Yin Yoga with Ms. Crowe.

Dopler... as I like to call it.

The mind has moved on from the Ascent, but the body?...maybe not so much. Three short and slow runs this week were pretty miserable thanks to a returned nagging hammie/glute. I thought we had made up, or come to some sort of compromise over the last few months, but I may have really pissed it off last Saturday. This and the IT band injury at the beginning of 2009 have luckily been my only running issues since I started about three years ago. What to do now...heal time, no running goals for a bit, learn to let go a little bit. ??? Hum, not sure how this will all go over.

CRC North will open Oct 1st...doesn't seem real after all of this time talking about it! Many of our current customers who reside north end have expressed their excitement on several occasions.

The extensions program for CPY teacher training is awesome. We're two weeks in, and already we've dialed in some specifics on our voice, projection, themeing, music, and heat. Everyone has "their thing" I've been told when it comes to learning to teach yoga. That one thing that holds them back at the beginning. That one thing they really have to be aware of or change in order for growth. For me it's the seriousness/lack-of-Jillian coming out in my voice. Hum... lot's to work on here.

The practice card I made that sits at the top of my mat every time I practice...

Mom and Ken supposedly have some top of pikes peak/end of the race pics of me. Not sure how attractive they are or if they are even pleasant enough to post...?

A couple of people have given me a few that are pretty neato.

Aww...Chelsa! :)

Amber... your face is bad ass! 

Moansie... since you told me you read my entire blog the other day... I shall share some music with you here:

-Junior Boys: 'The Equalizer' and 'In the Morning' 

Remember... If you'll hire me based on my playlist alone...we can chat:).

Last night I partook in a pretty much amazing experience... Bingo ladies and gents. I've been lucky enough a couple of times in the past to enjoy this cup of over-stimulation...but last night was just oh so special. Tara, Rory, Sarah and I just laughed histerically... in a very quiet way of course... the entire time. It was the 10:30p session, so out came double-decker-dobber (or dopler's as I like to call them)-bags, the 20-sheet per game participants, "blazin balls"- yells, and hot pretzels with cheese. None of us were big winners last nights...but we shall return. 

Donezo.

Yes, the Pikes Peak Ascent is donezo! Once I get some more pics from friends and family I'll definitely share... but overall... wow, tough race. Definitely my worst racing experience ever. Pain, nausea, total range of emotions, altitude drama, longest time on my feet...this list could really just go on. I made it to the top eventually... in 4hr 15min. Fifteen minutes past my goal... but with two miles to go, my time goals really just fell off of the mountain and out of my mind, and I just wanted to be done. So grateful to have my friends and family at the start and finish of this beast...definitely a memorable day. Amber and Jess were right... I'll never look at the mountain the same way again.

Tomorrow it is...

Pikes Peak eve is upon us. Long expo day #1 is behind us:).

And so it has arrived...

Yes, I sort have been avoiding posting the obvious... maybe because in my mind I've been avoiding it too. The Pikes Peak Ascent is in 3 days! Geez.
If you don't remember...this is how I got into this mess.
A view of the death march..

I guess I feel as ready as I can be. I have mixed emotions...excited that it's finally here, can't wait for it to be over, wow- this is going to hurt and be a long one, and hum, I've never actually done a whole 14-er before. Did I mention the expo chaos CRC is a huge part of? Yes, tomorrow begins the set up for the 2-day endeavor down at Memorial Park in Manitou Springs. We'll have shoes, clothing accessories, all of the race day essentials. A very fun way to be a part of the Pikes Peak Ascent/Marathon...but lots of work for anyone involved with CRC:). John says he's going to have a heart attack and die at some point during the weekend and that I better be prepared to take over the store from that point on. Nice.

Trying my best to take it easy this week...a little bit of jogging...little bit of yoga; all preparing the body for Saturday. So excited to have some friendly faces up at the top waiting for me! Thanks guys!

Here's a cool article from the Wall Street Journal about PPA/M and trail racing.

Off to a flat, short run in Mantiou with Amber... race pics and recap to come for sure.

TT ponder.

I've been meaning to journal/blog about my Teacher Training experience for a while now...but I guess I've needed a few days to really let it all sink in. This program could not have come at a more hectic time in my life: Grandpa's passing, three races, a trip to Mexico, and a 10-year anniversary at the store...but, I really don't know when a prime opportunity would have come around as I live a chronic over-planning/over-committing lifestyle. I think it was meant to happen this way... a glimpse into the importance of making me-time, presenting out-of-the-box life experiences in the midst of regularity and routine chaos.

To say I was not totally prepared for the level of internal search and personal growth throughout this experience would be an understatement. It makes sense now, as I think about everything that goes on inside every time I lay out my mat... multiply that by one hundred and that's the 8 week teacher training program. Of course I knew it would be intense and scary... learning the entire C1 sequence, the details about each posture, the breath, and the cuing, but it very abruptly put me back into college mode: having to learn something new, memorizing, new people... a very vulnerable position. The eleven other women that were in the same boat as me, along with all of the teachers and program leaders, made the experience. I remember the first Wednesday night... all of us trainees had that dear in the headlights-what have I gotten myself into- look. However, it didn't take long for us to realize that we were in this together and the support we were offering to one another would be what get's us through. The bonds I formed with these women in my class are such a gift, and each one of them brought such laughter, joy, insight, and realness to the days we spent together.

There were many deep, personal discussions that we had as a group, and that I had in my head/heart over the last eight weeks. Communication, identifying real emotions, truth, insecurities, balance, acceptance... all oozing off the yoga mat, into my personal/work/friend/family life. Not all of my life was figured out in these 8 weeks, but spending time letting questions and unknowns linger in my heart (something I've conditioned myself not to do) lead me one step closer to finding my own truth, real self, passion and contentment.

I am still trying to figure out if teaching yoga is something I can do well... something that's in my heart. I do know that I love people, I love yoga, and I would be so honored to bring those two together in the form of teaching. The Extensions program began this week, so for the next 6 weeks I'll be working on developing my voice, increasing my confidence in the studio, and digging deep to find out who Jillian, the teacher is.

Quality time, growth, laughter...

Again with a full week's catch-up. Almost.

Later in the week I headed up to mom and ken's house for dinner. Adam was in town from Denver. We ventured over to Grandma's house where we spent some time in Grandpa's room looking through his stuff. Note the hilarious glasses he is wearing above:). The sign has been on Grandpa's door since I can remember; always a good quote.

Friday afternoon was a celebration of Jeanne's 50th Birthday! Jeanne and the special women in her life all gathered at the Wisdom Tea House up in Monument. This place is beyond amazing... wonderful teas, tasty food, great ambiance. So honored to be a part of her special day. See the cool thing she did for each of us here.

Saturday was packed to the brim.  Work began at CRC at 7am with First Saturday/Sidewalk Sale! Craziness from the minute the store opened. Afterward, it was off to the second to last teacher training session. We practiced teached, and prepared for our final test out taking place on Sunday. Quick change and I headed over to the Kolher's BBQ, also known as "Megan's Party" (inside joke). Buffalo burgers, homemade guac, hummus, grilled corn, cabbage salad (yum Jess!), pie, cake, and a few alcoholic beverages out on the deck. Ryan later mentioned "well, glad to know this deck can hold this many people"...hum. Loved the quality time with friends:).

Today (Sunday) was CPY Teacher Training Graduation Day! We all walked in with bundles of nerves, ready to get the next two hours under our belt and celebrate with good food and fun! Charlotte was my partner today...absolutely love her. We did make eachother cry at the end as each of us taught. So many hilarious memories of her. Kelly brought a pinata!!...totally hilarious. Lora and Kathy really knocked er' clean. I was just double checking to see if there was any candy left in the sandal (pic above).  Our memory/thought poster was filled with funnies... I wrote about Story and her riding her motorcycle to hot yoga, sitting out front of the CA studio smoking a cigarette story she shared back the first week of the training. She responded by writing "Jillian = 100% pitta = 100% hot!!" Today was such a memorable day. I seriously cannot believe 8 weeks just flew by like that. I've learned so much....so much about myself, about yoga, other people, breath, movement, internal truths, communication, etc. I will fall asleep tonight content and happy.