Sunday, March 7, 2010

Carried away...

After a little photo shoot in Old Colorado City...








I am all over the place; emotionally and physically. Pretty easy to narrow in on the physical aspects...thank you glute and back. As far as the heart and mind are concerned, that's another thing. A friend of mine mentioned the word 'therapeutic' today and ever since then, it's meaning and place in my life has been resting in my mind.

I feel as though I do many things on a regular basis that are therapeutic...reading, laughing, yoga, running, listening to music, creating food, capturing beauty through the eyes of a lens, deep thought, giving love, witnessing human feeling.

I'm sure if I wrote out a list, it would easily continue on and on. I spend my days searching for the next thing that will give me the feeling one of the listed things above provide: that brief happy thought, a sign of relief, acceptance of myself or others, knowing I am truly loved, seeing my creativity, laughter like I could never stop...

All of this may be stemming from not feeling like I know myself very well these days. As I fall asleep every night I lie there confused about happiness, love, truth, and pretend. My goal is to be open to every day. I want to be completely open to who or what will teach me.

Sorry for the depth...just feeling the need to vent and put words together on paper (or screen realistically).

5 comments:

linda said...

jills....don't ever apologize for "depth" silly one, for without it you would not continue to develop into the beautiful you, you are becoming. jeesh...talk about depth. keep on being... love you, linda

Heather McD (Heather Eats Almond Butter) said...

You ARE truly loved...always. :)

Jillian said...

Thanks so much Linda...so sweet:).
HEAB- <>:)

jboyd said...

These things you speak of are "The Little Things That Matter Most"!!!
I am so proud of the person who thinks with such depth of heart...
Always give yourself permission to "be" and to "feel"...
I love you so!!

Jillian said...

Thanks Mom:)
Love you so...