Friday, April 18, 2008

the definition of a friend...

So one of my favorite pals, Cammie, posted a question on her MySpace blog about being a good friend.  Reading it really made me think about what it is that makes a good friend.  Directly below is her post...followed by my response. Camster- I just love you to death and think you are an amazing friend! 

I am "learning" to be a good friend to these wonderful people around me.  I am just sooo clueless on what I am supposed to do and especially how I am supposed to feel.

Is there a book about how to be a good friend?  Or do you just screw up, make stupid comments, big mistakes and whatever and hope that you are forgiven? 


Oh Camster...
I do believe "learning" to be a good friend is a lifelong lesson. Even though everyone seems to be so such different places in their lives...searching for a range of things...we all desire and need one thing- to be cared for. When I say cared for...a number of feelings come to mind to determine that phrase...supported, encouraged, loved unconditionally, easily forgiven, etc. Figuring out how to make someone feel as though they are continually cared for to me is the definition of a what a good friend is. Because we all grow and change emotionally throughout our lives, what we need in a friend changes too...which in turn often makes it hard to always know what a. we ourselves need in a friend and b.what our friends truly need. 

You are SO not clueless on how to be a good friend my dear. Maybe what you need in a friend is changing (or has changed) and so now you are starting to question what you provide as a friend yourself? I too question what it is I provide for my friends and those I spend my time with. Not always am i that impressed with myself...but, during those questionable times I go back to what I love... searching for ways that I can show my friends that I truly care for them...for them to see outwardly what's in my heart.

1 comment:

eazy earl said...

Jillian, hope you don't mind me dropping a line here. You have a lot of wonderful blogs which I normally don't have the chance to read, but I really liked this one. Anyway I just want to say you've been blessed with many wonderful friends (and family) and we're all blessed to have you as our friend as well. Through my 34 years (still can't believe I'm that old, boy time flies!) I've had a few friends come and go, but the true ones remain. They are the ones that have supported me through thick and thin. Like you said, it really comes down to being loved and cared for. What hurts most people is when friends start drifting away from your life. This of course isn't unique to me, it happens to everyone, especially when major things happen in your life. Getting married changes things, as well as having kids. Sometimes you lose friends for no good reason, but then you find that special someone out of nowhere. Maybe it's at work, a party, or through two Fitness 19 lessons from a incredibly fun and cool instructor! :)
Anyway I'm glad to know you and call you one of my friends!