say it...

Sorry Maili, but I am going to jump on the "say what you need to say" bandwagon...I can't help it!

After listening to this song over the past few days...I've noticed that each time I hear it, I find myself thinking and feeling deeply.  The lyrics to this song, though simple, shine a light on the true importance of not letting moments pass you by when you hold back. Living a life feeling fulfilled so much has to do with really being in the moment and speaking the truth within your heart. 

So much regret I have in my life comes from not saying what I needed to say...what I wanted to say. Even though it often seems safer and easier to not say it outloud...I think the consequence is missing out on true feeling...true emotion...truth in knowing yourself and others the way that was intended.  When I listen to this song I think back to particular times in my life that I held it in and missed the opportunity.  It's a horrible feeling knowing that I've let so many moments pass...but I hope in the years to come I "have no fear for giving in...no fear for giving over" and enjoy speaking the feelings that were meant to be heard. And in the end...I know that it's better to say too much, then never say what I need to say again. 

"Say"

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration 
Take all of your so-called problems, 
Better put ‘em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead, 
If you only could . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open 

Say what you need to say [x24]

off to tackle the beast...

Haven't done the beast in a while...a little nervous...oh well...I'll do my best! :)

Hugs to all today...hey, it's almost hump day!:)

never ending lessons...

Sharing in the form of blogging these days has been a joke...

My free time has absolutely gone out the window...

So much to catch up on...where to begin?

Since i'm almost falling asleep, I'll share the most traumatic event of the weekend...my Camster falling off her bike! Cammie, Jeff, Meg and I had just enjoyed a wonderful breakfast Saturday morning at Wooglins when not 2 hours later I receive a txt from Jeff saying Cammie fell off her bike and that she was on her way to Penrose in an ambulance. WTH I thought...and being at work I couldn't do squat but just wait to hear updates! She dislocated her knee cap and had to have stitches in her mouth! Poor thing! She amazed me at her backwards-sit-down-butt-step-up maneuver she performed once we brought her home that evening...even though we had a pull-over barf break on the way up to the 2nd floor. Her wonderful sense of humor remained constant throughout this whole ordeal which I totally love...she repeatedly told me that she wasn't going to let the doctors take her underwear off. Oh yeah and today she was pissed that we neglected to tell her that her face was all cut up...she said it was a complete shock when she sat down on the toilet last night and caught a glimpse of her reflection. :) 

Cammie- we all just love you to death and are totally here for you for whatever you may need! :)...a hug, a barf bag, powdered doughnies from the gas station, or someone to simply sit with you on the couch! :) 

Anytime something like this happens and I find myself sitting in a hospital...it's another reminder of how quickly life can change...people's lives never the same. It helps me to remember how blessed I am and to never take those I care about so dearly for granted. 

nonsense...

Hi to all...

Nothing really new or interesting to write for today.

Oh a thought...I am really looking forward to going to Nathrop, CO with good friends next weekend to watch studly Jeff race...how fun is this going to be! :) Yay! I will definitely be ready for a mild escape! What an adventure this will be!

Our book club has just picked the next book...'Three Cups of Tea'.  I've heard good things about this read so i'm looking forward to it! More blogging on this later i'm sure once it's started!

My brother Adam is leaving to go to vegas this weekend and I will admit that I'm totally jealous! But, on the other hand I am excited for him to go as he just turned 21...I know he will have so much fun! I'm scared to hear stories once he returns!! 

Ok...off to bed now! I hope everyone has a great hump day!

the definition of a friend...

So one of my favorite pals, Cammie, posted a question on her MySpace blog about being a good friend.  Reading it really made me think about what it is that makes a good friend.  Directly below is her post...followed by my response. Camster- I just love you to death and think you are an amazing friend! 

I am "learning" to be a good friend to these wonderful people around me.  I am just sooo clueless on what I am supposed to do and especially how I am supposed to feel.

Is there a book about how to be a good friend?  Or do you just screw up, make stupid comments, big mistakes and whatever and hope that you are forgiven? 

Hmmm?!?!?

Oh Camster...
I do believe "learning" to be a good friend is a lifelong lesson. Even though everyone seems to be so different...in such different places in their lives...searching for a range of things...we all desire and need one thing- to be cared for. When I say cared for...a number of feelings come to mind to determine that phrase...supported, encouraged, loved unconditionally, easily forgiven, etc. Figuring out how to make someone feel as though they are continually cared for to me is the definition of a what a good friend is. Because we all grow and change emotionally throughout our lives, what we need in a friend changes too...which in turn often makes it hard to always know what a. we ourselves need in a friend and b.what our friends truly need. 

You are SO not clueless on how to be a good friend my dear. Maybe what you need in a friend is changing (or has changed) and so now you are starting to question what you provide as a friend yourself? I too question what it is I provide for my friends and those I spend my time with. Not always am i that impressed with myself...but, during those questionable times I go back to what I love... searching for ways that I can show my friends that I truly care for them...for them to see outwardly what's in my heart.

Try JibJab Sendables!

A New Balance...

I saw this commercial today and thought it was so funny...fitting and clever! I definitely can relate some mornings! :) 

It also totally fit with some thoughts I was having today about not fulfilling the expect we place on ourselves...coming up short on our efforts. Why is it that when we are intent on accomplishing things that we a.) must tackle these major life feats and b.) we can't seem to focus on just one...we seem to have to throw in numerous goals/changes into the mix! I don't understand it, yet I seem to have developed the habit of attempting it quite well.  

The Madster...

My cousin Maddy is stinkin one in a million hilarious...

Below is the end of an email she sent me tonight...cracked me up! She is so good at these one liners...amazes me every time.  I just had to share with you all...haha. Those of us from c springs know ms venicique...a local weather lady...:)

i hope your day didnt get too soggy from the MASSIVE BLIZZARD that blew in..jeez
Meterologist Marty Venicique didn't warn me about the golf ball sized flakes. : 

JUNO...

So...one of my absolute favorite movies came out on DVD today- JUNO! :)

This movie is so real and the language/lingo is absolutely histerical! If you haven't seen it yet...I definitely recommend that you do. 

Funny phrases to listen for...

-"Whoa, dream big!"

-"I am fo-shiz up the spat"

-"That's one doddle that can't be undid homeskillet" 

-"It's probably just a food baby...did you have a big lunch?"

-"Uh, excuse me, I am a sacred vessel and all you have in your stomach is taco bell"

-"aww, all that's missing is your bastard"

-"I shoulda gone to China...I mean I hear they give babies away like free ipods...They pretty much put them in those t-shirt guns...shoot em' off at sporting events"

HAHAH...I love it! :)

-

one step closer to the weekend...

Just a quick hello...haven't written anything in a while.  Maybe it's because i'm away from my house from 8am-10pm over the past few days...booo. How did my life get so busy? I know I bring it on to myself...adding things here and there...to help me "balance" my work with adequate amount of "play".  But...play ends up taking time and energy as well.  A lesson that I am learning by being thrown into the fire these days. 

Here is a link to my brother's (Adam's) band myspace....They are so great.  You def need to go take a listen...you won't be disappointed! They just posted a new demo song...i just love it! They will be playing in the Springs in May at least twice. 

myspace.com/anovelform

I hope you all are having a magnificent week...enjoying this beautiful weather...and finding the balance for yourself between work and play! :)

Hore-eee-scope for the day...

I am feeling that I need to be paying attention to this one...This may be happening in many more ways than one...???

You may be riding an upward current now, like an eagle gaining altitude from the thermals. Still, you can carry extra baggage with you in the form of feelings from obscure places within. You have the ability to transform fears associated with imagined negativity that lurks in the shadows. All you need to do is shine the light of your awareness into the dark and overcome your resistances by fully experiencing suppressed emotions.

Gal time...

Happy TGIF to everyone...yeah! :)

It's been a few days since i've posted...mainly because I haven't felt like I've had anything important to share.  But oh well... 

Last night the gals (Maili, Dana, Meg, Cammie and I) got together for book club... which soon turned to taco bar, brownies, lap top/myspace/blogger session and chatty life-catch-up-hour(s). We just have so much fun together! I feel so blessed to have close friends to just sit and laugh with...cry with... and simply share with. 

Here is a video of Cammie and I playing with the MacCam...so lady-like :). 

I hope everyone has a great/playful/restful/joyful weekend...more to come!  

Ok so here are some thoughts for today...

1. I had a rec bball game tonight and we played against the south central hood gang from 1993. Seriously...these broads were outta control...they were super serious...sporting their full team jerseys (top and bottom), head and assistant coach...and play numbers that they would shout out at random occations.  The funniest thing was is that they were trash-talking us, the refs, each other the whole time-full of cuss words, sassiness and major tude...and one of our players said to the ref "seriously?" (when she didn't get a call)...and what happens? Our player gets a freaking technical foul...are you kidding me right now. Anyways...long story short...they killed us-it was embarrassing...they outweighed us all by 30+ lbs...and yeah, thats all.  

2. Sometimes I feel like I get to have a fun sleepover every night...how did I get so lucky? I was sitting on the couch tonight with the best roomie in the world, Maili (aka Romi), watching Law and Order, thinking to myself that living here feels more like home than any other place i've lived before (aside from my mom's of course) We laugh so hard over the silliest of things...usually having something to do with: the dogs, barrrroouuuttt's and baaaatttt's, "gooooodmooorrrrningg", hand gyrations to techno music, lame sugar-free creamer/decaf coffee...and the list could go on. I guess one reason I feel so at home here is because I know I can completely be myself and someone who's always close by cares for me unconditionally.  

random thoughts for the day...

I'm too lazy to have to think about putting sentences together tonight,  so here are some statements...:)

• Playing sports as I continue to get older is depressing...my body absolutely refuses to do anything with grace or power anymore...it's a sadness. My neck is going to hurt tomorrow from volleyball tonight...it was rough on me.
• I love it when Maili (Romi) says or types "dearie" because I think she got it from me...It makes me feel special. I know i've gotten phrases from her...
• I just love my brother and his girlfriend Nicole...they are just wonderful. My brother is so talented and it continues to amaze me time and time again. 
• My cousin Maddy took the picture above and I think it is so beautiful.  It is in Port Aransas, TX- where we were for spring break with the fam. Good job Mads!

good ol days...

Remember the times when your mom or dad would make you dinner every night and it was just like "eh, whatever...no biggie". Not until you move out and are on your own with a job, stress and struggling to find time for anything, do you fully realize the amount of time and energy required to prepare a simple meal! Tonight I went to my mom and Ken's house for dinner and for Ken to try and replace the flasher on my car (no blinkers at the moment...not good).  My mom fixed yummy food and I was reminded that when your parents cook for you-it always just tastes better...even if you were to make the same exact thing for yourself! Why is that!??? Poor Ken banged his head twice on my gas pedal trying to crouch way underneath my steering wheel...felt so bad for him! My cousin Maddy came with me over there...I just love her to pieces! :) Her, my mom and I just laugh so hard when we get together...love it! 

Hope everyone has a great start to their week...and just think...we are one step closer to the weekend again!:)

a colorado sunday...

Sometimes I have this overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness when I get to fully experience the place in which I live. As a "new runner" (I feel I get to classify myself as this until it's been a full year since I started June '07)...I still find myself dealing with the mental battle between struggling through every step of a run vs feeling like I'm running on air and taking in every sight and smell. Today was a day when I found myself amazed at my surroundings. Pictured above is where I was running this morning with my great friend and running pal Staci...Palmer Lake in Monument, CO. As the weather warms up and the choices of running trails broadens...my enthusiasm to explore and challenge myself is a nice change of pace.