Sunday, March 22, 2009

on the mind...

I realized today, that when you physically slow down on vacation-rest, relaxation and healing for the body...eventually, your brain will do the same. However, I don't always want the time to allow my mind to think deeply. It sometimes brings up too much. As I've written before, I feel I schedule my time (even my down time) to the max in order to protect myself. Why do I fear the thinking? I find comfort in routine because it is what I know...I find fear in the possibility of the toppling of my apple cart. Vacation is forcing me into... the past, my future, my need for the present.

It has almost been a year since I started this blog. I read my friends blogs- about food, or training, pregnancy, etc, thinking to myself- "what's the point of my blog?". All of these amazing blogs seem to have one major focus...and mine, well, sort of jumps all over the place. I've decided a couple things...

a. I love to write...I want to do it better...and hope to do it more.
b. I will stop worrying about why I am writing about certain things, and know that this is ultimately for me...a public diary of certain aspects of my life.

Videos of beach fun soon to follow. Too tired to post tonight. It is 11:34pm here in Texas...what the hell am I doing up so late. Geez...back to reality will surely sting.

1 comment:

Megs said...

I feel the same thing about my blog, Jillian. I have to remind myself that I do this thing ultimately for me...and if no one reads it, BFD! :)