for me...

a rambling session. After the last few days, I think I deserve it.

After a forced-relaxation vacation for a week, I was thrown back into the storm, literally a blizzard. A blizzard full of snow, work, moving, my life-routine itself. Most of the time I thrive and relish in the fast-paced ride my daily routine calls for...but for some reason I feel completely overwhelmed. All of the pieces that make up my heart, my life, seem to be all coming to a head at the true life goal: the human connection. Over the last few weeks, the definition of the human connection has been filling my thoughts, making me wonder what it means...for me and for the people in my life. I feel myself fighting for connections in any way possible in order to find a better understanding as to what it is that makes me fulfilled, happy and content. I guess I am self-conscious because of my mistrust in my own wants and needs, and feel like I will not be given what I deserve until I know what it is will absolutely fill my heart. This is in no way helping my current seek for contentment.

This past week was full of transition and mental and emotional brain power. Thoughts of moving, Dad, friends, family, and overall-my life, are draining my usually-full, energy tank. However, I know that these times are a gift of personal growth and I will look back and see clearly the lessons learned.

Jess- thank you for being an absolute listening ear and heart.
Adam- thank you for your emotional and physical help with moving:).
Mom- thank you for continually reminding me you are always here for me.
Dad- thank you for the dime and the tax gift.
Staci- thank you for your time sharing your joyful heart with me.
Maddy- thank you for your acceptance, conversation and the sharing of laughs.

no time!

Haven't had a single moment to blog recently and it's annoying! Oh well...what can ya do ehh? My most exciting news is that I did an 80 min run on Santa Fe trail with Staci (& Dani too!) on Sunday and we both had no issues, injury-wise! It is still at 4min run/1 min walk...but that seems to be ok with the quad/IT and that's what's most important:). It was like a whole new experience for us...being outside, fresh air, a beautiful day...actually running...it was all like Christmas morning to us. After thinking for a long time that it will be forever until you are actually doing something again...actually being able to do it is the best feeling. Anyone who's been injured and had a long road to recovery knows what I am talking about. I'm about to hop on the yoga train for this month and do it as much as I can...which I'm really excited about!

Heather- your blog yesterday totally made me laugh...possibly because my brain functions just as yours does about exercise-ba!

More life changes to blog about at another time...

sushine...

has gotten the best of me...it has sucked my energy dry. A break for some AC inside allows me to post these neatos...:)

on the mind...

I realized today, that when you physically slow down on vacation-rest, relaxation and healing for the body...eventually, your brain will do the same. However, I don't always want the time to allow my mind to think deeply. It sometimes brings up too much. As I've written before, I feel I schedule my time (even my down time) to the max in order to protect myself. Why do I fear the thinking? I find comfort in routine because it is what I know...I find fear in the possibility of the toppling of my apple cart. Vacation is forcing me into... the past, my future, my need for the present.

It has almost been a year since I started this blog. I read my friends blogs- about food, or training, pregnancy, etc, thinking to myself- "what's the point of my blog?". All of these amazing blogs seem to have one major focus...and mine, well, sort of jumps all over the place. I've decided a couple things...

a. I love to write...I want to do it better...and hope to do it more.
b. I will stop worrying about why I am writing about certain things, and know that this is ultimately for me...a public diary of certain aspects of my life.

Videos of beach fun soon to follow. Too tired to post tonight. It is 11:34pm here in Texas...what the hell am I doing up so late. Geez...back to reality will surely sting.

As I'm packing...

...I am realizing how much true love I have in my life. I am so thankful, so blessed to have the memories, the people I have.

I've been finding dimes...lots of them. It must be that time of year-the time of year that my dad reminds me he is here.

moving forward...

We've worked up to 2 min jog/1 min walk for 30 minutes! Yay! :)
Next week it will be 3 on/1 off...Thanks John for the insight!
Off to ride the bike outside on this beautiful day...then to a beginner's yoga workshop...best be making sure I'm in the right positions! :)

drips...

...beads of sweat, pouring off my face and bod for 90 minutes today. Holy crap, hot yoga was indeed hot. It was challenging, cleansing, annoying, intense...all feelings, rolled into one experience. I honestly don't think I've sweat like that ever in my life. I will be participating in this class again soon. :)

Heather has been inspiring me with some yummy recipes that I have been enjoying recently. Many of which include either almond or peanut butter...uuummm:). Thanks friend!

A note to myself...

Enough with the planning already.
Leave more time for the unexpected.
Enjoy the freedom of life more.
Quit scheduling each second.
Don't fill the time in hopes of forgetting what your life may be missing.

ok...

the bod hurts. Hum...could it possibly be all of the new (or re-starting of) activities? Let's see what the last 4 days have held.

Thursday- upper body lifting and core.
Friday- biking/elliptical/core at gym.
Sat- 30 min run/walk-am...1 hr core class-pm.
Sun- yoga (yogurt)-am...biking, right after yogurt. Owie.

Tonight everything hurts...every move feels foreign. But it makes me laugh thinking about all the funny moments it took to get here.

Aside from all of the non-running/balance/core-focused activites...my life pace has pretty much has been out of control. But I continue to work on the balance and enjoy it all:).

hahah...

If you want a laugh to start off your friday morning...check out 'cake wrecks'- this one's for the girls

Today...

...has been fantastic. :)

Started by waking up with no alarm, early enough to get going on the day. A bike/elliptical session at the gym...a PT session with my friend and savior, Christy (who is trying to fix me and Staci and stop us from all of our "bitchin".)...grocery store...some outstanding tennis with Dani...a visit and hug to my wonderful brother...and a cold beverage on a deck overlooking the Garden of the Gods.

Sigh. Wow...I am so enjoying this day. Off to dinner with friends...and so it continues.


Dani found some sweet shades on the courts...doesn't she look professional!
Shirts from the Austin race expo...good words for any runner. :)
Yes...We definitely will run for margaritas. Especially peach and 'black and gold' ones from Amanda's! :)