Thursday, June 10, 2010

I surrender to myself...

I apologize if the following post is a little personal.  I know some of you that read are my close friends, that I see all of the time and know what's going on in my life. Others, family and friends I may not see or speak to so often. But I am feeling like a little decompressing in the form of writing is what I need.

Within the last 7 days, my heart has been through a roller coaster ride. It all started last Thursday night when I found myself sobbing in a yoga class, something that hasn't happened in the year and a few months that I've been practicing. It seriously came out of no where. By Friday morning, I walked out of this yoga class, with three of my favorite yoga instructors, pondering participating signing up for Teacher Training. After a weekend of intense thought and wondering if I could really pull off this training for the next 8 weeks...8 weeks in the midst of pure insanity at work with Summer races, and my own training for Pikes Peak...?? Monday night, I took the plunge and went for it. I am so excited.

Tuesday I arrived to work ready to gear up for a very long, stressful and busy 5 days at the store. It's Garden of the Gods 10 mile packet pick-up (2000-ish runners), as well as our 10-year anniversary celebration (fri and sat).  Mid morning I received a call from Mom saying that Grandpa had died in his sleep. Although his health has been fading over the last year, more recently since he got back from Texas about a month ago, this still came somewhat unexpected as he had dinner on the porch the night before. For those of you who didn't know, he spent 12 days in the hospital not too long ago due to pneumonia. The family was, and still is in shock. He was the rock and leader of the family and his lack of presence was immediately felt. His funeral will take place this Saturday at Blunt Mortuary at 11:30am.  Yes, this falls smack dab in the middle of the 10th anniversary Saturday celebration.  The hard work of planning the event is over, and I'm sure it will run just fine. I will be happy to be with my family on this day.

Last night was the first night of Teacher Training and I am so glad I decided to do this. Our group is great...our leaders wonderful. I can't wait for this journey.

After five hours of sleep last night, six two nights in a row before that... I think my body is running on pure adrenalin.  Tomorrow will be off to the races again at the store with craziness, Saturday begins at the store and will most likely continue on with tears, Sunday morning begins with an early 10 mile race, with Teacher Training to follow. Can my adrenalin hold on until Sunday night? I sure hope so.

I have been so blown away by the support I (and my family) have received during this difficult time. Bowls of lemons:), flowers, coffee beans, cards, hugs, offers, etc have come streaming my way, and I couldn't be more grateful. Thank you, to all know who you are:).


Jess said...

Love you!

linda said...

oh heart aches with yours! i am w/you in spirit, dear friend, praying strength & blessings to surround you. hugs & love. ~ linda